Editor-in-Chief: Sonya LaRae
Editor: Nile Harper
Article By: Sonya LaRae-Certified Relationship/Lifestyle Coach, Certified Image Consultant
Question: Love is a Battle Field- Savannah, GA- Hello, I’m currently pregnant and my 4 year isn’t happy at all and even cries when we start talking about the baby, and just yesterday I found her in the babies room messing things up.. I need help in fixing the sibling rivalry before her little sister arrival.
Hello Love is a Battle Field-thank you so much for this question. You know this is like an age old question that I hear and see many families dealing with, when it comes to expecting a new baby/sibling. They have certain fears about all of the new beginnings about to take over there lives (which will happen once this new bundle of joy arrives) Don’t think that everything will remain exactly the same, because it won’t. I have a few helpful tips to share with you, that may just break the feeling of your going to love this baby more than me, it’s going to take my place or even I just don’t like it..
Love is a Battle Field, I have to tell you even though a little sibling rivalry is normal, you want to get in front of this because, being proactive now will have a great forbearance on the relationship of your children in the long run.
Here are a few of my top tips to combat the “Sibling Rivalry Green Eyed Monster”
1. Build the bond: Before the baby every get’s here you need to have a little sit-down with the big brother or sister. You should be excited over his/her role as a big brother and helper to their new baby. Now many people may suggest that you get your little one a book or two, but I would tell you to first take a look at the book or DVD first prior to showing your child because some have negative connotations that your child may not have been thinking. I have one publication that I think is very nice (I’m a Big Sister or I’m a Big Brother by Joanna Coles).
2. Make the older sibling feel important: My own mother did that for my brother when I was on the way. She made things about him and got his opinion on where certain things should go in his babies room.. I think that you should let your friends and family know that they may be coming and lavishing the baby with new gifts or attention so, maybe they could bring a small gift for the older sibling as to not make them feel left out or if I could suggest to you and your husband make it exciting for the older sibling to see what his new little brother or sister is going to get gift wise.. Allow him/her to open the gift and place it somewhere special for the baby. You may even want to buy a few little trinkets to be able to give to the older sibling.
3. Monkey see monkey do: I know that sounds odd but, this is what I mean by this; if you have close friends that have children that are close, have no sibling rivalries plus, they maybe around the same age as your son/daughter have them spend some quality time and tell the older sibling to say all the things they help mom with for their little brother or sister. Let them see healthy relationships even if you have a big brother and uncle so-and-so is his/her favorite let them know this is my big brother and I just love him and he love me. Seeing this will give them reassurance that they are still special and that the new sibling is not and enemy but one of their own personal friends.
4. Talk time: Sit and talk to your child allow them to ask you questions let them feel the baby move so they can bond with that sibling.. Don’t wait until your new little bundle of joy arrives because it will be too late.
Love is a Battle Field I hope that this has helped you and congratulations on the new baby, have a safe and healthy delivery!
Thank you again for such a great question, and I look forward to more great discussions as these.
Give us your feedback: Do you think “Sibling rivalries can be avoid if parents do there part to build healthy relationships?” We cannot wait to hear your thoughts.
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