Editor-in-Chief: Sonya LaRae
Editor: Nile Harper
Article By: Sonya LaRae-Certified Relationship/Lifestyle Coach, Certified Image Consultant, Lifestyle Journalist
Question: Never Changes Spots-Vermont- Hello, I got into a heated discussion with my girlfriends on our last ladies night out, regarding “Once a Cheater Always a Cheater” I’d love to hear your professional opinion because mine is they cannot change their spots.
First let me thank you for your question Never Changes spots. You know this has been a true debate of the ages if someone who cheated could they ever be trusted not to cheat again? The answer just might surprise you-because many times when someone has cheated there are many factors that come into play- 1. Why did the person cheat? 2. Did this only happen once? 3. Has the pattern been set?Here it is straight up and honest- If a person has cheated and there aren’t any serious consequences that person 9-out of-10 will do it again. This is a true fact.. Studies have shown that infidels be they male or female that have had to face a severe circumstance never went back to that destructive behavior. For the vast majority of males and females who cheat will only make drastic changes if their mate either breaks up with them, divorces them, or some other type of hardship happens like a loss of a job or their reputation becomes tarnished. These major consequences make a cheater be accountable and owning the pain they have inflicted upon their mate:This is the cause and effect process- Your act of selfishness now has caused you to loose someone and something very precious. Now, when a cheater get’s away with what they have done that is when the great adage “Once a Cheater Always a Cheater” become very true. The person”s” ego becomes their worst alliance because, it tells them they can do it again because, there is no cause and effect. This person will never deal with the underlying issues or reasons for them cheating and they become habitual in there practices. Unfortunately, it seems like more and more people are taking that vow so lightly and breaking the promise to forsake all others and not to long nor lust after the opposite sex. The word monogamous (when you are married or in a committed sexual relationship with one person at a time) is almost as extinct as the dinosaurs.
To say “Once a Cheater Always a Cheater” isn’t something that I could fully agree on but, there are some individuals that this can apply to. One thing I know is that if you honestly love someone and I mean LOVE (intense feeling of deep affection and respect)you would do everything in your power to make sure you never break the trust, bond and respect that individual has for you in there heart and soul.Thank you again for such a great question, and I look forward to more great discussions as these.
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